Them: “Why do you meditate?”
Me: “Oh if you only knew.”
I meditate because I’m prone to anxiety. Because I’m prone to anger. Because I’m prone to thinking too much.
I’m the one who can’t fall asleep after watching (insert any remotely violent video ever).
Some of the family favorite episodes where I utterly freaked out, happened while watching Deer Hunter, and Black Hawk Down.
Now they know better.
“Don’t let Jacki see. She’ll never recover.”
See, I am prone to fixating. I am prone to dissecting and analyzing. I am prone to worry.
But less so these days. Meditation is working. It’s changing me. I’m less likely to dwell.
I let things go more easily these days—an upsetting thought, a violent image or scene, an angering situation—more like releasing a balloon than having a stone wrested from my clenched fist.
It still surprises me. Just today I surprised myself when I got to my hotel in Oslo after an 8 hour overnight flight and the woman told me I couldn’t check into my room.
“Oh ok,” I said and sat quietly in the lobby and sipped coffee for two hours.
You know if you have these tendencies. Not all of us were born “chill.” Some of us have to work for it. #meditationworks