Last weekend my husband and I were in Nantucket. Out to dinner at some bustling bistro in the downtown area. And we got into a tiff. And in the process some ancient wound that I hadn’t felt in a long time was reaggravated and I felt myself sink into a place of coldness and anger. Like I had so many times in years past about this very issue. But amazingly, this weekend, I was able to crawl out. Actually, crawl is not the right word, more like LEAP out. I reminded myself that I was in a beautiful place with my favorite person. And that the result of these kinds of arguments is always that we forgive and move on. Why not just do it faster?
So I did. I focused on the delicious broccoli cauliflower Caesar salad that was in front of us. And the feeling started to pass. And then I asked about Mike’s work, which had brought us to the island, and I listened. We ended up having just about the perfect night.
The thing is that in the past I would have tried to do the same thing. I would have tried to let it go. I would have tried to focus on something else. But I just wouldn’t have been able to. I remember it so well- being so hard to just drop it.
The difference today is that I’ve developed my concentration through my meditation practice. Everyday, for over a year, I’ve been practicing letting go of thoughts that arise. Every single day. And the reward is that I get to experience nights like these as lovely, rich moments rather than as hours wasted sulking and feeling sorry for myself.
Learn to control your mind and your reactions and watch your life open up.